Safe and Sound
by LayKay
Summary: When Castle's house is broken into and he gets hurt, Beckett is reminded once again that everyone and everything is breakable. Except them. Caskett, takes place in season 5.
1. Chapter 1

Beckett glanced automatically toward her desk as she walked into the precinct, the chair where her boyfriend usually sat was empty. She looked into the lunch room to see if he was getting coffee but only a couple uniforms sat at a table sipping their coffee. It had become routine that the first one in got coffee for both of them, so she poured two cups and carried them to her desk. She could feel eyes watching her, one detective dropped his head as soon as she turned to look at him.

Putting Castle's coffee next to his chair she stood next to her desk, flipping open a case file as she drank her coffee. "Beckett," she heard a relieved voice behind her. She turned to see Ryan and Esposito both running towards her. "Thank God you're ok," Ryan said.

"What?" she asked. Ryan had always had a knack for throwing things out of proportion but she was only a few minutes late.

"You don't know. Dammit, why didn't you answer your phone?" Esposito demanded.

"What's going on?" She glanced quickly at the empty seat and the coffee that was no longer steaming, a sick feeling entered her like a rock dropping into her stomach. "What happened?"

"Maybe you should sit down," Ryan said, pulling her chair out.

"Tell me," she said, looking at Esposito.

"There… there was a break in, Castle's loft. Nothing was stolen but…"

"But?" Beckett asked, trying to keep calm. She'd just left Castle's house less than two hours ago, she'd forgotten a change of clothes and decided to go home before he woke up. They were about to give her the same speech she'd given to countless girlfriends.

"He saw them, he tried to fight back but they got away. We haven't found them yet."

_He was so brave_, she'd tell the hysterical girl sitting in front of her. _He died a hero._ Then she'd hand them a tissue.

"Kate," she heard Esposito's voice say softly. He never called her by her first name. Her legs finally gave out, both men quickly reached out to catch her and placed her in her chair. Her feet dangled several inches from the floor.

"We'll take you to the hospital," Ryan offered, pulling his chair up to her.

"Hospital?" she said as if the word didn't make sense to her. "He's… he's not…"

"He's… alive," Esposito said, exchanging a look with Ryan, one she instantly read as "barely".

Ryan pulled a tissue out of the box on her desk and handed it to her, she took it without thinking but only held it between her hands.

The three sat in silence for a few moments. As Esposito glanced quickly around, he could see all the eyes in the station on them. News spread fast, everyone was waiting for a reaction from her but she sat stoic, in a trance as she looked straight ahead, her eyes unfocused.

Finally she blinked and looked at her partners. "Let's go," she said as she stood up, walking quickly to the elevator.

* * *

"I need information on Richard Castle," Beckett demanded as she walked to the nurse's station at the hospital. Ryan and Esposito had left her in the lobby, knowing she wouldn't want them tagging along.

The nurse barely looked at her. "Family only." Beckett slammed her badge down on the desk. "Look, Officer, I'm under strict orders, no information on Mr. Castle's condition to anyone outside his family."

"Listen," Beckett began through gritted teeth when she heard someone call her. She turned around to see Alexis running towards her.

Without saying a word, the younger woman ran to her, wrapping her arms tightly around her. Beckett slowly put her arms around her, stroking her hair softly.

"I'll take you to him," Alexis told her as she pulled away, wiping her eyes.

Beckett followed Alexis down the narrow hallway until she finally pushed through a large door leading to a huge private room. Castle was laying in the bed, his eyes closed as Martha held his hand.

"Grams," Alexis said softly. Marta looked at Beckett and nodded. She stood from her chair and walked out of the room with Alexis, touching Beckett's arm softly as they left.

As she approached the bed, she half expected him to jump up and laugh at her. This was an elaborate and cruel joke, even for him. He wouldn't do this to her or his mother, certainly not Alexis.

She finally got to his bed, her hands resting on the sterile light blue sheets he laid on. "Open your eyes," she whispered. The only response was the steady beep from the heart monitor, the only thing that let her know he was still with her.

"Dammit, Castle," she said, looking at the man in the bed. She ran her hand through his hair, something she'd done countless times but it felt different, as if the texture of it was unfamiliar to her. The six foot tall man who towered over her, who could literally pick her up with one hand looked like a little boy. His usually perfectly coiffed hair was a mess, nothing like the adorable bedhead she'd seen him with in the mornings, and his face seemed gaunt. For the first time since she'd met him, he looked fragile, as if he would break if she touched him wrong.

She pressed her lips to his forehead very softly, a tear falling from her eye for the first time. "Please don't leave me," she whispered.

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Beckett bit down on her thumb as she read over the files that were emailed to her, evidence taken from Castle's loft following his shooting. Three shell casings were found, one from the .45 registered to Castle and two from a 9mm. Castle had been shot once in the abdomen but there was no evidence that his attacker had been injured. Fingerprints were a bust, everything in his home had been touched by countless people. Nothing was stolen.

She stared at the screen, looking through the crime scene pictures that had also been sent to her. Her jaw tightened at one picture in particular, a pool of blood on the dark hardwood of his living room floor. Nothing was stolen. His loft was full of high-end electronics, his mother's jewelry, and designer clothes. All easy steals, once Castle was down there would be nothing to stop someone from taking everything he owned, most of it was easy for one person to carry. They came for something else.

They came for Castle, then left him for dead.

His mother had, thankfully, come home in time to call 911 and control the bleeding. Beckett's mind raced with people who might want Castle dead, the first name in her mind was Tyson. It couldn't have been him though, this wasn't the work of a professional. Tyson would have put a bullet in Castle's head, not in the stomach and he certainly wouldn't have just left knowing he was still breathing. And there was one bullet that had missed completely, probably lodged in the wall.

Maybe Castle played dead, Beckett thought. If someone wanted to kill him but had given him a non-fatal wound, he would have done his best to act dead and pray his attacker just leave him instead of making sure.

Another thought entered her mind, maybe they weren't looking for him at all. She had left only two hours earlier, someone could have expected her to be there. They could have shot Castle only to stop him from getting to her before they did, only to find the bedroom empty. The people who had spent most of the previous year trying to kill her were no longer a threat. At least she thought so.

"Detective Beckett, what are you doing?" Captain Gates asked, catching sight of Beckett's computer.

"Uh… ballistics, sir. Evidence."

"The case you're assigned to is a stabbing, these pictures are of a shooting. And I can guess which one."

"Sir, I…"

"Castle's shooting is none of your concern, Detective. You are a homicide detective, this case isn't homicide."

"Castle is my partner."

"Ryan and Esposito are your partners, they're the ones who's shooting we would investigate. Mr. Castle is a private citizen, his shooting will be handled just like all other non-fatal robbery shootings."

"But it wasn't a robbery they…"

"Beckett, I don't want to hear it. For the last time, this is not your case." Gates' resolve seemed to soften as she watched Beckett stare at the screen again. "Maybe it would be better if you took a few days off."

Beckett's eyes finally left the screen, she turned in her chair to look up at her boss. Was she getting fired for investigating a case that could directly involve her? "Sir?"

"Just a few days. You're distracted and distraction is dangerous. Go see him. Give us updates on his status."

* * *

Beckett spent all day everyday at the hospital for the next week, keeping vigil at Castle's bedside, waiting for him to open his eyes. She slept in the chair next to his bed, Alexis had to keep up with her schoolwork and Martha had to give statements to police and to reporters. News of his shooting had leaked to the public and was nation-wide news. Flowers began showing up at his loft, the precinct and his hospital room was filled for flowers and gifts from fans.

She arranged the flowers around the room. Even though he was in the biggest hospital room she'd ever seen, they seemed to be running out of space for the flowers. She looked at one of the bigger arrangements, curiosity got the better of her and she dug into the flowers, looking for a card wondering if they were from an ex-girlfriend.

"Kate?" she heard as her hand grasped the card. She turned so quickly she nearly knocked the flowers over. She said nothing for a moment, just staring into the blue eyes that she waited for what seemed like an eternity to see again.

"Castle, thank God," she finally gasped, rushing to him. She threw herself onto him, hugging him tightly.

"Kate," he said softly.

"Shh," she said quickly, touching his cheek. "Don't… you don't have to talk. There's nothing to say."

"Ow."

"What? Did you say ow? What hurts?" His lips moved but she didn't hear what he said. "Castle, just tell me, what hurts. I'll find you a doctor."

He shook his head. "You… you're on my stomach."

She looked down at herself, her leg was across his stomach. She'd woken up in his arms several times in this position, her legs around his body. Unlike when they woke up like this, she moved in an instant, sitting up on the bed next to him.

"I… I can't remember what he looks like. I've never seen him before."

She shook her head. "Castle, you don't have to worry about that. We'll find him, we will. Remember, most victims I work with can't tell me anything about who hurt them. Let's not worry about that right now, ok?"

He nodded, looking up at her. He took her hand in one of his and she was shocked at how cold it felt, he was always so warm. "I love you, Kate," he whispered. It didn't shock her anymore when he said that, he'd said it a handful of times and as of recently she always responded the same.

"I know," she said softly, the words he'd grown accustomed to hearing. He no longer looked disappointed when she said that. She knew that he knew how she felt about him, but in her past she'd lost everything she loved and didn't want to risk losing him, as if saying the words would be a death sentence.

He had nearly died. They'd literally been through hell and back together and life could throw at them they wouldn't be able to find a way through. He was her best friend, had been for years and they'd gotten to a point that his life took precedence over hers.

After months of dating in secrecy, they finally came clean and thankfully Gates let them continue to work together, with some instance from the mayor.

She leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss against his cheek. "I love you too, Rick," she whispered.

She could see his lips curling into a smile as he put his arm carefully around her so she was lying in the bed next to him.

"You called me Rick," he said. "You never call me Rick."

"I know," she said, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"It was a little weird."

"Yeah," she agreed with a little frown. His name had felt strange leaving her mouth, she hoped he wouldn't comment on it but he was, thankfully, still the same Castle.

"It's gonna take some getting used to."

She smiled at him. "Ok… Rick." She let out a quick breath, shaking her head. "I'm gonna have to wean myself into this."

"Yeah, let's just stick to Castle for now."

To be continued…


	3. Chapter 3

AN: this story is just writing itself so quickly. I don't even know...

* * *

"Detective Beckett?" an unfamiliar voice asked. Beckett looked up from her computer to see a middle-aged man in a dark suit.

"Can I help you?"

"My name's Bill Blatt. I was hired by Mrs. Rodgers to investigate her son's shooting," he said, showing her his private investigator ID.

"Bill Blatt?" she repeated. "Seriously?"

Blatt looked instantly annoyed. "I have some questions I need to ask you. Is there somewhere were we can speak privately?"

Beckett nodded and led him to the interrogation room. They both moved towards the seat she normally occupied, he sat first leaving her to sit in the seat facing the two-way mirror.

"Where were you Thursday the 15th between 3 and 5 am?" Blatt asked her as she looked at her hair in the mirror.

"Straight to the point. Ok. I was at my apartment."

"Alone?"

"Well, as you know my boyfriend was at his house so yes, I was alone. And, just to help your investigation, if Mrs. Rodgers came home at 5 that would mean Castle was shot less than twenty minutes earlier. Given the location of his wound, he would have bled out if anymore time had gone by. He was shot between 4:40 and 4:50, which would give the shooter enough time to escape unseen by Rodgers."

Blatt raised his eyebrows. "Pretty specific information you have there."

"Well, I am a detective and Castle is my boyfriend."

"A detective who, if I'm correct, carries a 9mm handgun. Same as Castle was shot with."

Beckett took her gun out of her holster and placed it on the table. "My gun is standard issue by the NYPD. If I'm a suspect because of that so is every other cop in the city." She raised one eyebrow. "Am I a suspect?" she asked, even though she knew the answer. The significant other is always one of the first to be looked at.

"Well, you do have motive."

"Motive? What motive do I have to shoot him?"

"Some would call 3 million dollars motive."

"3 mil… excuse me?"

Blatt opened his briefcase and pulled out Castle's will. "A month ago, Mr. Castle changed his will. Most of his assets were left to his daughter, Alexis. In the event that his mother outlives him, she would receive a portion of his fortune."

"And how does this involve me?"

"3 million dollars is the amount that would be left to Alexis in a trust fund, which she would be unable to access until her 21st birthday. In the event of Mr. Castle's untimely death, you were to be named trustee," he told her, handing her a copy of the papers.

"Alright, but he's alive. If I wanted him dead, believe me, he would be dead." She shook her head, pushing the papers away from her. "You're wasting your time, Blatt. Castle's building is under 24-hour surveillance, look at the tape. I'd wager to guess not many people came and went between when I left 3 and when Martha came home at 5. As a matter of fact, there's a camera in his hall, not too far from his loft. Check that"

"Sounds like you know a lot about the building layout."

Beckett rolled her eyes. "Again, I'm a cop and it's my boyfriend's building, of course I know the surveillance." Early on in their relationship she'd got the security officers in the building to let her see the videos, worried about Castle with other women when she was busy at work. If was ridiculous, of course, but she'd gotten a working knowledge of every camera in his building. "Look, unless you can charge me on carrying a weapon that by law I'm required to carry on me while I'm on duty, you have nothing on me and this is pointless and a waste of time for both of us."

Blatt nodded, collecting the papers and placing them back into his briefcase. "Don't leave town, Beckett," he told her before he left the room.

* * *

"Why would you name me trustee?" Beckett demanded and she charged into Castle's hospital room.

"Well hello to you too," he said. "Have a good day at work?"

"Stop it. Why am I the trustee of Alexis' trust fund? Better question, why didn't you tell me?"

"It was a recent…"

"It was not recent, it was a month ago."

"How do you even know about my will?"

"A PI named Blatt came to the station today. Apparently, I'm a suspect for your attempted murder."

"It was a guy who broke in. I think. I'm pretty sure it was a guy."

Beckett rolled her eyes and sat on the bed next to Castle. "Who is this Blatt guy, anyway? What's his story?"

"Am I in your will?"

"What?"

"You have a will, right? Am I in it?"

Beckett rolled her eyes. As if she'd have anything anyone would want. "Sure, you can have my fish."

"Stella? You'll give me Stella?" he asked with a smile, acting as if he was honored that she would leave her goldfish to him.

"Castle, focus. Blatt. Who is he?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Never heard of him. He's working my case? Why aren't you and the boys?"

"Gates won't let us. It's not a homicide and we're too emotionally involved. Your mom apparently hired this guy to investigate."

"Apparently?"

"I thought your mom liked me," she said, almost pouting at the realization that Martha might not approve of her for her son.

"She does. She adores you, in fact."

"Then why would she point Blatt to me?"

"Are you accusing my mother of something, Kate?" he asked, pushing himself up slightly.

"Lay down. And no, I'm not. I just think it's weird that out of all the other people in your life, he comes to me first."

"What other people?" he asked, lying down again. "You, Alexis and my mother, you're the people in my life. You're my girlfriend, he had to ask you questions."

"He was interrogating me."

"You would have done the same thing. The last person to see the victim, no solid alibi. You would have had a person in your position in cuffs and behind bars on some charge."

Beckett crossed her arms. "I did not shoot you. I wouldn't… I couldn't." She looked down, biting her bottom lip.

He let out a breath. "I think we just had our first fight."

"Right, except for all the other ones."

"Kiss and make up?" he asked, holding his arms out.

She couldn't help smiling as she walked to his bedside and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"Do you have any ideas?" he asked. "About who it could have been? Crazed fan, maybe?"

"A crazed fan who broke into your house, shot you, then left without taking anything? It doesn't make sense."

He shrugged. "It's what happened to Lennon."

"That's not at all what happened to Lennon and… no. You've exceeded your John Lennon comparisons for a lifetime."

He pouted. "You like him better than me."

"Well, he was a Beatle."

"You were 14 months old when he died."

"Infants feel pain too." She kissed him quickly when he opened his mouth to speak again. "It was so much easier to shut you up when I didn't have to worry about hurting you."

His eyebrows went up. "Really? Well, if you're gentle…"

"No," she said instantly.

"Please?" he said, pouting again. "It's been a week and a half."

"Trust me, I know," she said. He was in a coma for five days, he couldn't possibly be as tightly wound as she was. She didn't just miss the sex, of course, she missed him, the feeling of his body against hers. She let out a breath and pulled the curtain around his bed before carefully straddling him. "I swear, if you break your stitches…"

"I've already decided, I'll let you do all the work."

"How is that any different from any other time?" she teased before leaning down to kiss him again. "No screaming."

"If you think out of the two of us that I'm the screamer, you don't pay attention."

To be continued…


	4. Chapter 4

"Beckett, what are you doing? I thought Gates said no more working on Castle's case," Ryan whispered as he sat down neat her desk as she looked through pictures of his loft after the shooting.

"If we get a call, I'll drop this but I need to figure out what happened. The quack of an investigator his mother hired won't stop looking at me as a suspect. He refuses to go in any other direction and won't look at the tapes from Castle's building." She rubbed her forehead, flipping between two pictures. "Something's wrong here."

Ryan looked at the picture. "What do you mean? Where?"

"Here look. This is his office." She pointed to the corner of a picture, where a door off a hallway was slightly ajar. "And in this one, the door's closed."

"So? Maybe CSI was in the room."

She shook her head. "Maybe but I don't think so." She got another picture from the pile. "And this one's from over ten minutes before the first one. You can barely see it but the door's open."

Ryan shrugged. "Is it possible that Castle left it open?"

She shook her head. "He never leaves it open. Never."

"Maybe his mom or Alexis went in…"

Beckett shook her head again. "Everything in there is for his novels, for work. The entire room is a tax write off for him. They wouldn't go into it, especially when he's not there. They'd have no reason to. The only programs installed on the computer are Word and Internet Explorer with a password block, so no one has a reason but him to use the computer."

"Nothing was stolen though. He must have backup drives to protect his work."

"He does. Every book is on a different drive so he doesn't lose anything or get confused about where a chapter is. Alexis said they were all there."

"Then what are you thinking? If the drives are all accounted for isn't it just another dead end?"

"I don't know," Beckett said, gathering the pictures. "But I'm going to find out."

* * *

"No one's been in here since…" Alexis told Beckett as she opened the door to her father's office, trailing off in the middle of her sentence.

"I know, sweetie," Beckett said softly, running one hand through the girl's long hair before walking into the room. She looked around for anything out of place. Castle kept his office spotless, the books on his shelves were organized in the order that he'd written them. He was far from a slob but in his office it his cleanliness reached an almost obsessive point. She understood, this was his livelihood and if he lost the previous chapters of his latest novel he would be in trouble.

Her eyes finally landed on his computer, a flash drive plugged into one of the ports. "Alexis," she called, looking at her as she entered the room. "Look."

Alexis looked at the computer, when she'd done a quick survey of the room to see if anything was missing she hadn't looked that closely. "Dad would never leave a flash drive plugged in. When I was little he was always scared I'd pull it out when he wasn't around and he'd lose all his work, it became a habit."

Beckett nodded. "I know. And I have a feeling that the reason your father was shot, is on that drive. Does it look familiar to you?"

She shrugged, shaking her head. "It's red so that means it's a Heat novel but there's no number." She looked at the books on the shelf and pulled _Kissed and Killed_ out of its spot then opened a compartment built into the bookshelf, pulling out an organizer that filled the space the book had occupied, filled with different colored flash drives, yellow, green, orange, black, white, different shades of gray, even purple and pink. There were over a dozen blue drives, she figured they must hold the Storm books. And four red ones.

Alexis pulled the red drives out of their spaces, showing them to Beckett, they were all numbered, one to four written in Sharpie. "This one's for _Heat Wave_," she said, pointing to the first one. "And this is _Naked Heat_ and so on."

"So he's working on another Heat book?" Beckett asked, looking back at the drive plugged in to the computer.

"Anything to keep working with you."

"What if the attacker was after the new book? Nothing was stolen because the pages were printed out," Beckett figured, looking at the printer in the corner of the room, which Castle claimed could print fifty pages in less than a minute. Thinking about the timeline she'd already figured out, if Castle was shot at 4:40 and he was telling the truth about his printer, 500 pages could have been printed before they had make their escape at 4:50. Beckett knew that a few chapters of Castle's book would take just a little over a minute, if that.

"Why would someone shoot him over a book though?"

"I have no idea." The way Castle wrote, it would probably be released in a year or two. Surely no one was so desperate to read the latest adventures of Heat and Rook that they would shoot the author to get access to a partial manuscript. "I'll need to see what's on that drive."

Alexis sighed softly. "You know how Dad feels about you reading a Nikki Heat book before it's finished."

"I know but seeing it could give me clues about who was here."

Alexis looked torn for a moment before she finally nodded. "Ok." She sat in the leather chair and turned the computer on.

Beckett followed to look at the screen over her shoulder. "Damn," she whispered. The computer was locked, password protected with no guest account. "Maybe try…" she began but Alexis was already typing.

"My dad's a good writer but he's really not all that clever. His password is your name."

"Oh. Well, at least he didn't use 123456." For anyone who knew Castle, knew who Nikki Heat was based on, the password to log on was easy to crack. "Just out of curiosity, how long…" she began but cut herself off. "Never mind."

"About two years," Alexis answered. She clicked the icon for the drive, her face falling when an empty white window appeared on the screen. She looked up at Beckett.

"Whoever got on here didn't print the pages, they deleted them," Beckett spoke for both of them. "There was something your dad wrote that someone didn't want anyone to see."

"Well, how do we know who it is?"

"We could ask him what the book is about but I'm trying to keep his mind off the shooting. He doesn't need to be worrying about that right now." Beckett looked at the computer again. "No one uses this except your dad, right?"

Alexis shook her head. "Grams and I have our own computers. Why?"

"Because we can dust the computer for prints. There were too many prints in the living room and the doors but if no one other than him ever used this computer until now, your prints would be the only ones on it except…"

"Except the guy who shot him. He can never find out about this, by the way."

"Well technically I'm supposed to have his permission or a warrant."

"Would permission from his adult daughter work?"

"I appreciate the offer but I'm already risking getting in trouble as it is for working on this case. He wouldn't sue but… the last thing I need is him mad at me."

"He won't be mad at you. You're doing this to help him, to protect him. It's not like you're doing the jealous girlfriend thing and looking at video from the building's cameras," Alexis said, raising a knowing eyebrow.

"Ok, that was a moment of weakness and insanity. And your father was really upset with me for not trusting him."

"Well at least you know better now. Did you know that he wasn't even with anyone for over a year before you two got together?"

Beckett rolled her eyes. "I know that isn't true. I saw him leave the station to get ready for a date dozens of times."

"He went on dates but he never slept with any of them."

"Tell me your father doesn't discuss his sex life with you."

"Ew, no. Of course not. But I can always tell when there's a woman sneaking out in the morning who he's trying to hide from me," she said, looking pointedly at Beckett.

"Even when you're hung over?" Beckett asked, groaning inwardly.

Alexis smiled and nodded. "You love my dad, don't you?" Beckett simply nodded. "Then figure out who did this to him."

To be continued…


	5. Chapter 5

"Beckett."

She froze when she heard Captain Gates' voice behind her, stern and cold. She slowly turned in her chair towards the office. "Sir?"

Gates wordlessly motioned with one finger for Kate to come to the office. She swallowed hard then stood to walk the short distance. "Busted," Esposito whispered, prompting her to hit him in the head.

Once Kate was in the office, Gates closed the door. "You've been investigating Castle's shooting." It wasn't a question.

"Yes," she said, no point in attempting to deny it.

"After I specifically told you to drop the case."

"Yes."

Gates shook her head, sitting in her chair. "Do you any leads?"

Kate bit the inside of her lip, so far it had been a lot of dead ends. Apparently whoever deleted the files from Castle's computer had worn gloves. "I'm… making progress." So far, Castle had confirmed dozens of times that his attacker was male. A couple days ago he recalled the unknown man had hair.

"Beckett, you know I could take your badge for this. I warned you and Castle about this. Your relationship is clouding your judgment. "

"I'm covering all my other cases. If I get a call, Castle's case doesn't get touched until I solve the murder."

"I know. That's why I'm not firing you. What I'm about to say had better not leave this room, but I miss having the guy around here." Kate smiled, so far Gates had been the only one to not berate her with questions about how Castle was doing. "Look, your other cases need to take priority but you find that son of a bitch."

Kate smiled and nodded. "Yes, sir."

"How's he doing, anyway?"

"Good. Real good. He's coming home today." Just like when they were preparing for a getaway with him to the Hamptons, she spent the day watching the clock but murder or no murder, she was going to be there when he got released at three.

"Good to hear. Maybe then you can get all these flowers out of my station. Johnson's allergic and I can't have him have the sniffles during interrogation."

Kate nodded, holding in a laugh. "Will do."

* * *

She hadn't expected to be so emotional when Alexis pushed Castle through the door of the loft. Even though Kate had spent the better part of a month by his side as he laid in a hospital bed, the sight of him in a wheelchair was particularly upsetting to her. He'd be able to walk around on his own in a couple of days and the chair was just a precaution, but the idea that he might not walk again still haunted her.

Those thoughts quickly banished though when Alexis handed the chair over to her and she took Castle into the bedroom. It had been a long day for everyone, lots of papers to sign and medications to make sure they all understood the dosages of and they were all excited to head to get home to relax. He stood on his own power to take his clothes off, he'd missed his bed and couldn't wait to go to sleep.

"Will you stay?" he asked, turning to look at her.

"Of course." He was going to be lucky if he got rid of her for longer than an hour at a time let alone the whole night. She didn't want to let him out of her sight.

He started to take his t-shirt off but he winced as he tried to lift his arms, the wound on his stomach stretching uncomfortably when he did.

"Let me," she offered softly, lifting the shirt off of him. As he stood in front of her shirtless, his dark jeans hugging his hips in a way she loved, her eyes caught sight of the large white bandage on his stomach, a stark contrast to his tanned skin. She touched the bandage softly, feeling the heat from the skin underneath it.

Her mind ran away with her, what if there had been a call that morning, that there had been a murder in Castle's building? She and Esposito and Ryan would go, thinking it was some crazy coincidence and that when they got there Castle would be standing over the body, waiting for her with a cup of coffee. When they got there, they would be led to his floor with Kate still thinking it was a coincidence, albeit a horrible one. Until she turned into the open door of his loft and saw her boyfriend's lifeless body, blood staining the light gray shirt he'd worn to bed the night before.

"Kate?" His soft voice pulled her out of her nightmare. She looked up at him, opening her mouth but not speaking, her eyes shiny with tears. "Please don't cry," he said, pulling her into a hug. She cried so rarely, he never knew how to react when she did.

"I almost lost you," she whimpered, her face in his shoulder.

"Hey, shhh. You're never gonna lose me," he told her, rubbing her back softly. "I'll be back at work with you before you know it."

His last statement made her push back from him. "No. You can't."

"What? Is Gates not letting me back?" he asked, sounding devastated at the thought.

"No. No, it's… it's me. I can't let you go back there. I can't put you in more danger."

"Kate, I'll be fine. You know I'll be fine." When she started to shake her head in protest. "I know how to handle myself out there. I know what I'm doing. I'll wear my vest everywhere we go if it'll make you happy."

She smiled at the thought of his bulletproof vest. Although it annoyed her when he'd first had it made, she was happy he had it. He was going to follow her into danger, vest or no vest.

"Come on," he said softly, his strong arms squeezing her gently. "I even have my own badge now."

She let out a quick laugh, rolling her eyes at the mention of his badge. "Castle, it says you're the Panty Police and your badge number is 69."

"It still scares people."

"Yeah, people who are stoned." She shook her head, she couldn't let him distract her from this. "Please."

"I don't have a choice."

"You do. You can choose to sit at home and write all day and be safe."

He shook his head. "If I'm not with you, I won't be able to concentrate. I won't be able to think."

"And if you're with me, I won't be able to concentrate. I won't be able to think about anything other than you and if you're ok."

He sighed softly at her declaration. If her mind wasn't on the job, she could get seriously hurt. "But if I'm not there to protect you…"

"I was fine for years before you came, I'll be fine." Everything had changed in the five years that he'd been working next to her though. On the rare occasion that she went out on a case without him, she felt like part of herself was missing. Castle always had a talent for noticing things she didn't and it had saved her life but it was time for her to do it alone again. "Ryan and Esposito will have my back," she told him, hoping he would drop it.

"Ok," he finally said, nodding. Her arms wrapped tightly around his waist as he kissed the top of her head, hoping that by the time he was physically ready to be back out on the field she would forget about this conversation.

To be continued…


	6. Chapter 6

AN: sorry this chapter's taken so long. I had some bugs I had to work out from the story

* * *

Kate looked down at the paperwork in front of her, rubbing her eye. She signed the bottom of a form, thinking about the case file stored in her desk drawer. A month. It had been a month since Castle got shot and there were still no new leads, at least not that she could find. Every time she thought she was making a break, it was just another dead end.

More than anything, everyone wanted to just move past the shooting. He was alive, he was healing but that didn't take away that there was someone in his home, someone who could have ended everything. There would be no moving on, especially for her, until she was certain the person who did this to him was behind bars.

"Castle!" she heard someone say. She looked up as a chorus of welcome backs and good to see you agains echoed through the station. A few people hugged him, she sat at her desk, her face emotionless as she watched him walk toward her.

"Where's my chair?" he asked. Without waiting for her to answer, he grabbed a spare chair from nearby and pulled it up against her desk. "So what are we working on?"

"Paperwork." She flipped the manila folder closed and looked at him. "You can't be here. We talked about this."

"Kate, come on. I can't just sit at home all the time. I'm bored."

"Then go see a movie like a normal person," she spat at him.

"Why see a movie when I can live it? Crime, intrigue, a gorgeous leading lady and romantic rendezvous in the supply closet," he said with a wide grin.

"No murders today though. Just a big pile of paperwork to sign off on." She looked at him. "And there will be no rendezvous in the closet until your leading lady is all done with her work."

"Well everyone needs a break." He stood up and began rubbing her shoulders. "Paperwork can always wait."

"No, it… it can't." She moved away from him and turned to look at him. "Castle, you need to leave."

"Kate," he began softly, looking at her with his puppy-dog eyes.

"Don't. Don't look at me like that. Don't do this to me. You can't be here," she told him again. "I'm sorry but you can't."

"But…"

"Look, just go hang out with Alexis or with your mom or spend the day writing. I'll come over when I'm done here, ok?"

"Yeah, fine," he said before he walked away, looking dejected.

"Man, Beckett, why not just step on a puppy?" Esposito said once Castle was on the elevator.

"I had to, Espo. You know that."

"I know you had to but you coulda been a little more polite about it. His case still cold?"

"It's on ice," she said, looking at the papers in front of her. "That dumb PI isn't doing anything and there's no evidence for anyone to move on."

"What about that file you said was deleted from his computer?"

"I don't know. He can't think of anything he wrote that would make someone shoot him and delete the file."

"Maybe it was just an accident," he suggested with a shrug.

"An accident? It was an accident someone went through a lot of trouble to do then cover up. Getting into the building, cracking the security code, all without leaving any prints. Someone planned this."

"What about the tapes from building security?"

"Blatt has them. The guy I know from the security team retired and Blatt gave them instructions to not give the tapes out without a warrant, which I can't get."

"This Blatt dude, he's acting shady. First he won't take focus off of you now he won't let you see the tapes. Think there might be something on there he doesn't want you to see?"

"Like what? You think he's covering for someone?"

Esposito shrugged. "I'm not the one doing an unauthorized investigation."

* * *

When Kate knocked on Rick's door after work, she didn't expect him to look so angry when he saw her. "What do you want?" he asked.

She looked down. "I guess saying you and kissing you won't be as effective as it was last time. I said I'd come over after work."

He sighed softly. "I didn't think you actually would." He walked into the living room, stepping over a small area rug that covered the dark stain on the hardwood floors. The knowledge of what was under that rug made her stomach churn.

"I'm sorry," she told him, walking into the apartment and closing the door, purposefully avoiding the rug as she joined him on the couch.

"I can take care of myself, Kate. If I haven't proved that to you by now I…"

"I know you can. I know." She turned her body to face him, tucking her legs underneath her. "Castle, I spent four years trying to push away my feelings for you because I couldn't hurt you. Now you've been hurt."

"This isn't…"

"Let me finish. Don't say this isn't about me. Maybe it's not, but it could be. I've led you into too many situations, you've had so many guns pointed at your head because of me. If anything happened to you I'd never be able to forgive myself."

"I could have died on the way home today. I could have stepped out of my car and gotten hit by a taxi. I could have tripped on the sidewalk and busted my head on the concrete. I can die doing anything I do, day to day and it wouldn't have a thing to do with you. But, Kate, if I had a choice, if I could choose how I die, I would want to die in your arms."

"After taking a bullet for me?"

"Well, I would do that. In a heartbeat. But no, I'd much rather be in my late 90s, living with you in a nursing home and die in my sleep next to you."

Kate smiled. "That does sound nice. But let's face it, it won't happen. Cops don't usually have the best life expectancy."

"Some make out alive."

She nodded. "Sometimes. You know the badge is passed down from cop to cop, when they leave the force their number is assigned to a new graduate from the academy. The badge only stops when the cop wearing it is killed, then number's retired. Two men have worn my badge before me. I'm the first woman to wear it and I don't want it to end with me."

"It won't." He put his arm around her, pulling her against his chest. "You're gonna retire in 20 or 30 years and live the rest of your life safe with me."

"You sound so sure about that."

"I have to be. It's the only thing that keeps me from going crazy lately. Every time the phone rings, I keep thinking its Gates, calling to tell me something's happened."

"Welcome to the life of being a civilian dating a cop."

"I don't like it."

"Me either," she told him, curling against his chest.

To be continued…


End file.
